Become the Choice
In The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini writes, “I became what I am today at the age of twelve” (1). Khaled Hosseini makes a bold statement in his opening. He dives into the nature of choice in our lives and implies a single choice, regardless of age and maturity, has the power to define us as an individual for a lifetime. However, Hosseini over-credits the power of choice. The power behind choice resides within the ability to successfully act. It is who we are and the power we possess which determines who we become, not simply an instantaneous moment of choice.
The choice to act does not predetermine us successful in action. The choices we make are declarations to who we are, who we believe ourselves to be, and our intentions. The choice to apply the brakes as we approach a stop sign does not guarantee us to stop. The brakes may fail. Our foot may slip. We may react too late. Some choices are over-ruled by external forces, but predominately, our ability to properly drive our vehicle enables our chance to successfully stop when brakes are applied.
So, if power lies in the ability to choose rather than choice itself, what is it about ourselves that determines our choices? A combination of circumstance, genetics, parental guidance and social influences make up both our empowering ingredients and limitations. Our ability to blend the ingredients and cope with our weaknesses influences the choices we make and dictates our success potential.
A larger scheme encases a moment of choice beyond personal control. The external forces of our environment define the context of limitations and empowerment within which a choice is made. The degree of impact posed by environment may be trivial or significant, depending on the given situation. Choosing left and right with a new pair of socks is simple and straight forward. In contrast, Amir’s choice to find his nephew in Kabul during a time Afghanistan was under destructive Taliban rule typifies significant choices.
Step back for a moment and consider choice to be a single component to a larger equation. The primary variable to the equation represents who we are. That is to say, how we developed as a person through past experiences exacts the value of the primary variable. The secondary variable represents who we believe ourselves to be and how well we know ourselves. The enveloping variable is the environment within which the choice is made, the contextualizing external influences. And, the final result to blending the three dynamics together determines what we accomplish and who we become.
A natural instinct for survival automatically places self before all. The starving animal will eat something. Survival instinct number one: a baby cries to suckle mommy’s teat, filling its belly. With a full belly, the cries subside and a peaceful sleep appropriately follows satisfaction of survival instinct number one. Keep the baby hungry and it will continue crying for food. Hosseini’s narrative character, Amir, was a starving little boy. He did not go hungry for lack of food; I am sure his father, Baba, fed him well. Instead, he yearned for the acceptance and respect of his peers and most of all, his father. Amir searched for a peaceful sleep; he was starving and would eat something. He understood his lack of power needed to overthrow Assef and his hoodlums in the moment his bodyguard, Hassan, needed his help. He knew why he chose to place higher value on his infantile cry for Baba’s respect over Hassan’s virginity. Amir even explains, “Maybe Hassan was the price I had to pay, the lamb I had to slay, to win Baba” (77). It is who he was in the winter of 1975 that determined his decision. It was his cowardice and selfish hunger for Baba’s respect motivating him to flee, not his freedom of choice. His decision did not make him who he was that day; it proved who he was that day, a starving animal.
Consider an alternative choice for Amir on that bitter cold day in the winter of 1975. If Amir woke up that morning powerful, intimidating, courageous, moral and selfless, he might have been opportunistic in the back-alley, defeating Assef and defending Hassan. He may have avoided physical contest all together if his mere presence deterred Assef. Is it even worth mentioning the fact Amir would have likely defended his blue kite, his key to Baba’s heart, in the same stroke of his fist? Ironically, Amir would have already been in Baba’s good graces and not required a materialistic trophy to prove his worth. His ability and self-empowerment would have been visible and respected before interceding between Assef and Hassan’s split cheeks. That is, if he had not woken up a coward on a dark day in the winter of 1975. Unfortunately, an alternative was not an option for Amir. He was what he was and conducted himself accordingly.
Attempting to exert educational power, Amir belittled Hassan, calling him an imbecile then explaining to him, “’Imbecile,’ it means smart, intelligent” (29). Suppose this was Amir’s first lie and he could now be labeled a liar. He was capable of altering the truth prior to uttering the words before he was known a capable liar. ‘Liar’ is the label used to describe someone with the ability to lie, so becoming a liar is not a matter of choice.
Motive lurks behind the scene. A detective searches for motive to justify reason for murder. Suspects are ruled out and separated based on motive. Not just any murderer is responsible for the death in question. Many people have chosen to kill, but not all were successful in their action. The detective uses motive to identify who could have chosen to kill, but only the guilty party had the purpose and power to murder and be the murderer. To be a murderer, murder must be successfully committed; otherwise, the choice to murder merely results a failure, an attempted murderer. Therefore, a choice without substantiating action results in nothing valuable to the choice itself.
Amir’s troubled nephew, Sohrab, attempted suicide. A choice to commit suicide did not kill him because Sohrab’s ability to guarantee his death was not apt enough to anticipate and prevent Amir’s intervention. He did not expect his uninvited guest. Amir woke up and faced the gore, the “water drops dripping from the faucet and landing with a plunk into the bloody bathwater” (347). He wept and ached, but he was there, a man kneeling in the bathroom to save Sohrab from self-inflicted demise. Amir’s presence impeded Sohrab’s intention and overpowered the boy’s attempted suicide.
Encounter a wild animal and see what choice it makes. See what choice you make. Are you brave enough? Are you powerful enough? Out in the wild of things on an open plane, power is the decisive measure you will be weighed against. The tiger will plant its haunches as it assesses your power, in case you engage. Press upon the tiger and the trees begin to disappear, vision sharpens, hearing clarifies, reflexes quicken, breathing paces and the heart pounds. Nothing matters beyond your chance to survive and your ability to make it happen. Choices hang in the balance, waiting for movements by the tiger, waiting for movements by you. Choices are not the real point of contention between you and the tiger. The important questions focus on your power, your ability to successfully survive. If you choose to step toward the tiger, it is forced to respond because your action projects power and confidence, possibly aggression. The encounter between you and the wild determines the powerful and the powerless. How wild are you? If both of you remain confident, a fight to the death is likely near. If one of you loses confidence, you may escape without conflict or one of you may die still. The choices of the wild do not define what they are; it is what they are that decides their choices and whether or not they survive. What they are makes them dead or alive tomorrow.
Just before entering the Taliban compound to speak to the man in white, Amir thought, “Baba, I wished he were standing alongside me now” (273). He reached out to his deceased father for strength. He had to summon every ounce of inner strength and find the confidence to be just as wild as the murdering Talib. The decision to engage the wild was made. Amir chose to push onward, but had to wonder if he was able to substantiate his decision.
In suspense, Amir contemplated his position as he sat inside the Taliban compound. He knew his point of contact was the aggressor in the murder he just witnessed at the stadium. He anticipated the man would soon stand before him. Amir twisted and turned, trying to find a seated position with strong confident posture. Power had to be projected because dealing with the man in white would require every ounce of his strength and confidence; otherwise, he would fail to free his nephew, Sohrab, from the clutch of the Taliban.
Amir believed he was able and desperate courage was on his side. Speaking to himself however, Amir thought, “You’re gutless. Nothing wrong with cowardice as long as it comes with prudence” (275). He knew he was not gifted with bravery or the strength to support his attempt to rescue Sohrab from the Taliban. He surveyed his summoned power pool and determined his wildness. Even still, he questioned whether or not he could win, but courage is the thing he acquired during his maturing manhood. Courage, reinforced by knowledge, ignorance, haunting guilt, and understanding the consequences of fleeing, led Amir to the Taliban compound. His choice to pursue Sohrab simply indicated his heading and he repeatedly chose to continue. He considered the possibility that his efforts to retrieve Sohrab might damn his wife, Soraya, a biwa – a widow (275). Each time doubt spun him into reevaluation, he re-questioned the circumstances and his choice.
Since Amir understood the delicacy of his situation, he attempted to proceed with precise calculations. The Talib in white entered the room and in their first exchange of words, Amir was concerned his voice did not “betray the explosion of terror” he felt inside (276). He made every effort to protect himself from misconstrued actions of aggression and engagement with the Talibanian tiger. He knew if he lost confidence in his ability, Sohrab would be lost. He understood the Talib would not take him seriously if he was not perceived as powerful. The man in white would simply dispatch Amir to death if he felt threatened, so an aggressive stance was not an option for Amir. He had to belong inside the compound with a purpose requiring the Talib’s attention, but not his aggression.
In the face of an engagement between Amir and the Talib, new assessments were made before their next decisions. They both mentally calculated their positions. Who is the opposition in front of me? What power set enables him to face me and how does it measure against my own? Will the man in white kill me before I rescue Sohrab? What does the beardless Afghani from America want with my boy-toy? Having settled their mental quarrels, choice-driven action could begin.
The previously unrecognizable Assef, the Talib in white, slings the question, “Whatever happened to old Babalu, anyway?” (281) Assef’s opener hit Amir “like a hammer between the eyes” (281). Assef remembered Amir’s childhood miseries and knew a weak coward sat before him. All Amir’s hope for an opportunity of balance in fear and power between him and Assef was shattered with a quick question. What little leverage Amir owned in his situation was instantly abolished. Facing Assef, instead of the anonymous Talib, Amir’s choice was fouled.
Now trembling with fear, Amir asked Assef what he was doing there. To which the aggressor responded with, “I’m in my element. The question is what are you doing here?” (281) Assef projected his overt and powerful position over Amir with ease. The scales tipped horribly in favor of Assef. Even if Amir attempted to flee he knew he would fail and it was too late to run.
Amir had mistakenly delivered himself to Assef’s mercy; not merely by choice, but primarily by ignorance and weakness. He miscalculated the encounter he pursued. Had he known Assef was Sohrab’s capture, he would not have blindly strayed into the lion’s den. But, Amir’s mistake had been made and irrationally, he lashed out like a starving child, insulting Assef and realized, “I had crossed the line, whatever little hope I had of getting out alive had vanished with those words” (284). He knew he had taunted the tiger beyond resolve and his life would pay the bounty. Amir unintentionally chose a course of action that pinned him into a corner.
Conversation turned to pokes and prods littered with insult. Assef continued pressing Amir with intimidation. And, understanding nothing more could be lost, Amir pushed back. He chose not to spiritually surrender because that would only feed Assef’s satisfaction. Whether or not Amir had the spiritual stamina to mentally stand his ground with Assef was yet to be determined.
Assef offered up Sohrab for a price. He wanted to settle the score on some old business of unresolved childhood conflicts. Power was monopolized by Assef, they both knew it, and Assef intended to strip Amir down to lifeless rotting flesh. Behind closed doors, Sohrab stood witness to the battle between two wild animals. Wild judgment declared Amir helpless to Assef’s power and left him in a bloody mess, but Assef’s ignorance and poor choice to ignore Sohrab deemed him “One-Eyed Assef” (286). Amir did not choose to be beaten, but he expected Assef to kill him, one bone at a time. Amir knew he was not strong enough to defeat Assef in a brawl and Assef had the same confident assumption. Acknowledge also, Assef had not made a choice to replace his eye with a brass ball, but it happened, “The brass ball was still stuck in his empty eye socket” (291). He chose to ignore the Hazaran boy and turned his back to him.
The point is not to discount choice, but to explain the relevance of its surrounding complexities. The choice is a climax following a build up of development and contemplation. Evaluation of the options premeditates the actual moment of choice. Directly following, is the determination of success resulting from the action attempting to make choice a reality. Choice is often used as a marker for change and considered an all powerful freedom, but choice is not always as simple as pushing a button or selecting a favorite color. Most often, important choices stem from significantly attached depth and have challenging outcomes metered by external influences.
Sohrab chose and then attacked Assef with his slingshot after his shouting attempts to stop the fight had failed. Realizing Sohrab had drawn his weapon upon him, Assef immediately quit beating Amir. He knew how capable Sohrab was with a slingshot and responded to the severity of a surprising shift in his situation. An ability to powerfully and successfully use a slingshot enabled Sohrab to accurately strike Assef. Sohrab not only chose to engage Assef, he was able to carry out his intentions and stop Assef with a crippling blow. Choice did not save Amir’s life. A powerful combination of Assef’s overconfident ignorance and Sohrab’s able purpose saved Amir from death, not simply an instantaneous moment of choice.
The choice to act does not predetermine us successful in action. The choices we make are declarations to who we are, who we believe ourselves to be, and our intentions. The choice to apply the brakes as we approach a stop sign does not guarantee us to stop. The brakes may fail. Our foot may slip. We may react too late. Some choices are over-ruled by external forces, but predominately, our ability to properly drive our vehicle enables our chance to successfully stop when brakes are applied.
So, if power lies in the ability to choose rather than choice itself, what is it about ourselves that determines our choices? A combination of circumstance, genetics, parental guidance and social influences make up both our empowering ingredients and limitations. Our ability to blend the ingredients and cope with our weaknesses influences the choices we make and dictates our success potential.
A larger scheme encases a moment of choice beyond personal control. The external forces of our environment define the context of limitations and empowerment within which a choice is made. The degree of impact posed by environment may be trivial or significant, depending on the given situation. Choosing left and right with a new pair of socks is simple and straight forward. In contrast, Amir’s choice to find his nephew in Kabul during a time Afghanistan was under destructive Taliban rule typifies significant choices.
Step back for a moment and consider choice to be a single component to a larger equation. The primary variable to the equation represents who we are. That is to say, how we developed as a person through past experiences exacts the value of the primary variable. The secondary variable represents who we believe ourselves to be and how well we know ourselves. The enveloping variable is the environment within which the choice is made, the contextualizing external influences. And, the final result to blending the three dynamics together determines what we accomplish and who we become.
A natural instinct for survival automatically places self before all. The starving animal will eat something. Survival instinct number one: a baby cries to suckle mommy’s teat, filling its belly. With a full belly, the cries subside and a peaceful sleep appropriately follows satisfaction of survival instinct number one. Keep the baby hungry and it will continue crying for food. Hosseini’s narrative character, Amir, was a starving little boy. He did not go hungry for lack of food; I am sure his father, Baba, fed him well. Instead, he yearned for the acceptance and respect of his peers and most of all, his father. Amir searched for a peaceful sleep; he was starving and would eat something. He understood his lack of power needed to overthrow Assef and his hoodlums in the moment his bodyguard, Hassan, needed his help. He knew why he chose to place higher value on his infantile cry for Baba’s respect over Hassan’s virginity. Amir even explains, “Maybe Hassan was the price I had to pay, the lamb I had to slay, to win Baba” (77). It is who he was in the winter of 1975 that determined his decision. It was his cowardice and selfish hunger for Baba’s respect motivating him to flee, not his freedom of choice. His decision did not make him who he was that day; it proved who he was that day, a starving animal.
Consider an alternative choice for Amir on that bitter cold day in the winter of 1975. If Amir woke up that morning powerful, intimidating, courageous, moral and selfless, he might have been opportunistic in the back-alley, defeating Assef and defending Hassan. He may have avoided physical contest all together if his mere presence deterred Assef. Is it even worth mentioning the fact Amir would have likely defended his blue kite, his key to Baba’s heart, in the same stroke of his fist? Ironically, Amir would have already been in Baba’s good graces and not required a materialistic trophy to prove his worth. His ability and self-empowerment would have been visible and respected before interceding between Assef and Hassan’s split cheeks. That is, if he had not woken up a coward on a dark day in the winter of 1975. Unfortunately, an alternative was not an option for Amir. He was what he was and conducted himself accordingly.
Attempting to exert educational power, Amir belittled Hassan, calling him an imbecile then explaining to him, “’Imbecile,’ it means smart, intelligent” (29). Suppose this was Amir’s first lie and he could now be labeled a liar. He was capable of altering the truth prior to uttering the words before he was known a capable liar. ‘Liar’ is the label used to describe someone with the ability to lie, so becoming a liar is not a matter of choice.
Motive lurks behind the scene. A detective searches for motive to justify reason for murder. Suspects are ruled out and separated based on motive. Not just any murderer is responsible for the death in question. Many people have chosen to kill, but not all were successful in their action. The detective uses motive to identify who could have chosen to kill, but only the guilty party had the purpose and power to murder and be the murderer. To be a murderer, murder must be successfully committed; otherwise, the choice to murder merely results a failure, an attempted murderer. Therefore, a choice without substantiating action results in nothing valuable to the choice itself.
Amir’s troubled nephew, Sohrab, attempted suicide. A choice to commit suicide did not kill him because Sohrab’s ability to guarantee his death was not apt enough to anticipate and prevent Amir’s intervention. He did not expect his uninvited guest. Amir woke up and faced the gore, the “water drops dripping from the faucet and landing with a plunk into the bloody bathwater” (347). He wept and ached, but he was there, a man kneeling in the bathroom to save Sohrab from self-inflicted demise. Amir’s presence impeded Sohrab’s intention and overpowered the boy’s attempted suicide.
Encounter a wild animal and see what choice it makes. See what choice you make. Are you brave enough? Are you powerful enough? Out in the wild of things on an open plane, power is the decisive measure you will be weighed against. The tiger will plant its haunches as it assesses your power, in case you engage. Press upon the tiger and the trees begin to disappear, vision sharpens, hearing clarifies, reflexes quicken, breathing paces and the heart pounds. Nothing matters beyond your chance to survive and your ability to make it happen. Choices hang in the balance, waiting for movements by the tiger, waiting for movements by you. Choices are not the real point of contention between you and the tiger. The important questions focus on your power, your ability to successfully survive. If you choose to step toward the tiger, it is forced to respond because your action projects power and confidence, possibly aggression. The encounter between you and the wild determines the powerful and the powerless. How wild are you? If both of you remain confident, a fight to the death is likely near. If one of you loses confidence, you may escape without conflict or one of you may die still. The choices of the wild do not define what they are; it is what they are that decides their choices and whether or not they survive. What they are makes them dead or alive tomorrow.
Just before entering the Taliban compound to speak to the man in white, Amir thought, “Baba, I wished he were standing alongside me now” (273). He reached out to his deceased father for strength. He had to summon every ounce of inner strength and find the confidence to be just as wild as the murdering Talib. The decision to engage the wild was made. Amir chose to push onward, but had to wonder if he was able to substantiate his decision.
In suspense, Amir contemplated his position as he sat inside the Taliban compound. He knew his point of contact was the aggressor in the murder he just witnessed at the stadium. He anticipated the man would soon stand before him. Amir twisted and turned, trying to find a seated position with strong confident posture. Power had to be projected because dealing with the man in white would require every ounce of his strength and confidence; otherwise, he would fail to free his nephew, Sohrab, from the clutch of the Taliban.
Amir believed he was able and desperate courage was on his side. Speaking to himself however, Amir thought, “You’re gutless. Nothing wrong with cowardice as long as it comes with prudence” (275). He knew he was not gifted with bravery or the strength to support his attempt to rescue Sohrab from the Taliban. He surveyed his summoned power pool and determined his wildness. Even still, he questioned whether or not he could win, but courage is the thing he acquired during his maturing manhood. Courage, reinforced by knowledge, ignorance, haunting guilt, and understanding the consequences of fleeing, led Amir to the Taliban compound. His choice to pursue Sohrab simply indicated his heading and he repeatedly chose to continue. He considered the possibility that his efforts to retrieve Sohrab might damn his wife, Soraya, a biwa – a widow (275). Each time doubt spun him into reevaluation, he re-questioned the circumstances and his choice.
Since Amir understood the delicacy of his situation, he attempted to proceed with precise calculations. The Talib in white entered the room and in their first exchange of words, Amir was concerned his voice did not “betray the explosion of terror” he felt inside (276). He made every effort to protect himself from misconstrued actions of aggression and engagement with the Talibanian tiger. He knew if he lost confidence in his ability, Sohrab would be lost. He understood the Talib would not take him seriously if he was not perceived as powerful. The man in white would simply dispatch Amir to death if he felt threatened, so an aggressive stance was not an option for Amir. He had to belong inside the compound with a purpose requiring the Talib’s attention, but not his aggression.
In the face of an engagement between Amir and the Talib, new assessments were made before their next decisions. They both mentally calculated their positions. Who is the opposition in front of me? What power set enables him to face me and how does it measure against my own? Will the man in white kill me before I rescue Sohrab? What does the beardless Afghani from America want with my boy-toy? Having settled their mental quarrels, choice-driven action could begin.
The previously unrecognizable Assef, the Talib in white, slings the question, “Whatever happened to old Babalu, anyway?” (281) Assef’s opener hit Amir “like a hammer between the eyes” (281). Assef remembered Amir’s childhood miseries and knew a weak coward sat before him. All Amir’s hope for an opportunity of balance in fear and power between him and Assef was shattered with a quick question. What little leverage Amir owned in his situation was instantly abolished. Facing Assef, instead of the anonymous Talib, Amir’s choice was fouled.
Now trembling with fear, Amir asked Assef what he was doing there. To which the aggressor responded with, “I’m in my element. The question is what are you doing here?” (281) Assef projected his overt and powerful position over Amir with ease. The scales tipped horribly in favor of Assef. Even if Amir attempted to flee he knew he would fail and it was too late to run.
Amir had mistakenly delivered himself to Assef’s mercy; not merely by choice, but primarily by ignorance and weakness. He miscalculated the encounter he pursued. Had he known Assef was Sohrab’s capture, he would not have blindly strayed into the lion’s den. But, Amir’s mistake had been made and irrationally, he lashed out like a starving child, insulting Assef and realized, “I had crossed the line, whatever little hope I had of getting out alive had vanished with those words” (284). He knew he had taunted the tiger beyond resolve and his life would pay the bounty. Amir unintentionally chose a course of action that pinned him into a corner.
Conversation turned to pokes and prods littered with insult. Assef continued pressing Amir with intimidation. And, understanding nothing more could be lost, Amir pushed back. He chose not to spiritually surrender because that would only feed Assef’s satisfaction. Whether or not Amir had the spiritual stamina to mentally stand his ground with Assef was yet to be determined.
Assef offered up Sohrab for a price. He wanted to settle the score on some old business of unresolved childhood conflicts. Power was monopolized by Assef, they both knew it, and Assef intended to strip Amir down to lifeless rotting flesh. Behind closed doors, Sohrab stood witness to the battle between two wild animals. Wild judgment declared Amir helpless to Assef’s power and left him in a bloody mess, but Assef’s ignorance and poor choice to ignore Sohrab deemed him “One-Eyed Assef” (286). Amir did not choose to be beaten, but he expected Assef to kill him, one bone at a time. Amir knew he was not strong enough to defeat Assef in a brawl and Assef had the same confident assumption. Acknowledge also, Assef had not made a choice to replace his eye with a brass ball, but it happened, “The brass ball was still stuck in his empty eye socket” (291). He chose to ignore the Hazaran boy and turned his back to him.
The point is not to discount choice, but to explain the relevance of its surrounding complexities. The choice is a climax following a build up of development and contemplation. Evaluation of the options premeditates the actual moment of choice. Directly following, is the determination of success resulting from the action attempting to make choice a reality. Choice is often used as a marker for change and considered an all powerful freedom, but choice is not always as simple as pushing a button or selecting a favorite color. Most often, important choices stem from significantly attached depth and have challenging outcomes metered by external influences.
Sohrab chose and then attacked Assef with his slingshot after his shouting attempts to stop the fight had failed. Realizing Sohrab had drawn his weapon upon him, Assef immediately quit beating Amir. He knew how capable Sohrab was with a slingshot and responded to the severity of a surprising shift in his situation. An ability to powerfully and successfully use a slingshot enabled Sohrab to accurately strike Assef. Sohrab not only chose to engage Assef, he was able to carry out his intentions and stop Assef with a crippling blow. Choice did not save Amir’s life. A powerful combination of Assef’s overconfident ignorance and Sohrab’s able purpose saved Amir from death, not simply an instantaneous moment of choice.
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Talk about difficult and significant choice (The Matrix Choice).
